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Monday, September 15, 2014

Being Thankful

So I have been on Hiatus for awhile and I am sorry for abandoning you all. Settling in to my new life has been an adjustment.

Living with a two year old has been a whole new experience for me and although it can be stressful at times I LOVE IT!

I start two new jobs tomorrow and although I am going to be crazy busy I am going to try to be more active over here. Again I apologize profusely. Please forgive me.

A couple weeks ago my mom challenged me to take time each day and write about 3 things I am thankful for in my life for at least 5 days. Today's post, I felt, warranted sharing over here.

Why? Because today I shared about why I am so very very thankful for writers, librarians and books in general.

So here it goes!

  I am thankful to the writers of the world.

For those brave enough to put the stories that claw at their souls day in and day out on to paper for the world to see and read and judge.

You, dear writers, will never know how many lives you have not only touched, but saved.

I have been pretty open about the fact that I have battled Depression, as well as various other mental illnesses, my whole life, though it was only diagnosed in my late teens. It came over me surprisingly young and I often felt hopeless and alone in this world. I was often anxious and didn't feel like anyone liked me or that I fit in. But you, my dear dear authors, you created these magical special places for me to visit. Where nobody asked me to try to fit in or even participate but let me feel like I was a part of something big and life changing and sometimes even magical.

When I was at my lowest, when I thought I couldn't go on, sometimes you were the ones who got me through to another day. Sometimes "just one more chapter" got me through the longest nights and life was worth living just to reach the end of another book. Or I could tell myself I could get through the hardest times just to wait for the next installment of a series.

For a while (and for many it will seem silly) my life was measured in Harry Potter Volumes instead of years. Because I couldn't die not knowing how the story ended. And then I had to see how all the movies played out. And oddly enough that's how J.K. Rowling got me from 5th grade to being 23 and married.

Writing is important. Your work is important. It may at times be underrated and undervalued but I think I can say with all sincerity and all honesty that writers saved my life.

It started with simple picture books, like "I Like Me"

"Little Critter"

and of course my Dad's favorite "Where the Wild Things Are"

My parents read to me from "Free to Be You and Me"
 and The Big Book of Peace" often
and my love for reading grew slowly, as I found reading difficult, but soon I was a Boxcar Child,

a Member of the Babysitters Club,
Under the Covers with Goosebumps
Solving Mysteries with Nancy Drew

and Traveling to Narnia
and Tarabithia.
My mom read me the beautiful morality tales like "The Giver"
and "Number The Stars".
Books were like water or air to me. I needed them to live. I still do.

So every day of my life I am thankful for books. And writers.

Writing the last post made me realize that I missed a very important group of people. I am thankful for not just writers but Librarians who make books accessible to kids, and adults, like me.
Who take the time to read children's and Young Adult literature and recognize it's importance in the world and it's art form. ( I point these out specifically because they are my favorite and often thought of as lesser in the book world.)

Without librarians this world would be a very sad place indeed. Who would make book recommendations that fit your needs so perfectly?

So I am thankful for librarians. They too have played such a huge huge part in my life.

After Reading this my husband said that it reminded him of a song that was special to both of us while growing up. I am posting it here for anyone who may need to hear it.

The song is called Hold On by a Band called Wilson Phillips. David and I used to listen to it on what is nowadays called "Repeat" but since we had it on cassette we had to constantly rewind it to listen to it over and over.

I hope it helps you as much as it helped us. And I hope you find the thing that helps you hold on. That helps you get through those long and hopeless nights. For me it was books. For my husband it was movies. Find what helps you and hold on to it tight. Never let it go. Don't let anyone let you feel bad for what helps you get through life.

I have also decided to share a very popular song that is out right now because I have to admit that I listen to it a lot. The message is one that hits VERY close to home and it encourages me every time I hear it. Again It may seem silly to some but I again I hope it helps you as much as it has helped me.

So without further ado here is the phenomenal Taylor Swifts "Shake It Off"

I was teased a lot. I was bullied. I know what it is like. I still go through it. I still don't fit in. I know I never will. And ever day I try to embrace that a little more. I try to make that something to take joy in instead of something that depresses me.

And it's difficult. I may be an "Adult" but it doesn't end. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. But it does get better. It may not magically end after High School but it will happen if you work hard. If you work to love yourself. If you work hard to stop caring so much what those people over there are thinking and saying it hurts less and less. Because you know what? They are ALWAYS going to find something to talk about. That's a heart problem on their part. Like the sayong goes "The Hater's Gonna Hate" So hold your head high and Shake it Off.

I still have nights where books are the only thing that gets me through. Where I have to turn on that song that reminds me that their opinion doesn't matter. And that's ok. Because that's life. And if I let those people win, if I let them hurt me so bad that I ended my life I wouldn't be around for the beautiful and amazing things that this world has to offer.

I wouldn't get to see the end of my own story.

And if YOU let them win, we wouldn't get to see the end of yours.

I may be busy but I will ALWAYS have time for you. If you need to talk and it is a life threatening situation please call the number above. But if you are struggling with other issues and just need a friend I am here. No Judgment. Just Love.

And I encourage you all to take the challenge. Whether it be in your journal, on your Facebook page or your blog or however you express yourself. For five days find three things in your life that you are truly thankful for. It may be a difficult challenge to complete but it will be well worth it in the end.

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